To help you get started on a smooth and happy wedding planning process, here are some tips we’ve learned from working with brides:
1. Consider hiring a wedding consultant. A good wedding planner can help you avoid costly mistakes. They can help you establish priorities and make sure that you use your budget wisely and they can help you use your wedding planning time effectively by referring you only to vendors who will work within your style and budget. They will review all your contracts and point out omissions, discrepancies, and anything else that could lead to disappointment at your wedding. Many brides think that they don’t need a wedding planner since their venue or caterer supplies a coordinator, but there are two things to remember. First, a facility coordinator is not going to help you choose all your vendors – the florist, the photographer, etc. – nor will they help with the ceremony, arrangements for out-of-town guests, the rehearsal dinner, and all the other details of the wedding beyond the reception. And second, the coordinator works for the facility or the caterer, not you. A wedding planner works for you and will be making sure all your vendors perform well and give you everything you expect from them.
2. Come up with a realistic budget, set your priorities, and allocate money to those first. You might need a meeting of the families to decide what is most important to each person contributing to the wedding, and for everyone to commit to their part of the budget and be comfortable with it. Many conflicts that develop later between the families are money-related, so do everything you can to establish a comfort level and agreements at the beginning.
3. We think that brides should work on their guest list a lot earlier than most of them do. That means getting everyone – bride, groom, all parents – to jot down the names of the guests they want to invite. The number of guests at your wedding determines where you can have the ceremony and reception, and to a great extent, it determines your budget for the wedding. When people think about the cost of a guest, they immediately think of the caterer’s price for the reception meal, but here is a partial list of the other expenses per guest: invitations, programs, menu cards, calligraphy, postage, favors, bar expense, champagne toast, valet parking and other transportation, rentals of chair, napkins, china, flatware and glassware. For every 8-10 additional guests, rental of a table, table linens, centerpiece and pin lighting. Add 50 guests, and you need two more wait staff, one more bartender, and so on.
4. This goes along with #3 above – when you tell people you are engaged, don’t automatically start inviting them to the wedding. You may get a little into the planning process and see that you are going to have to get the guest list down. And if you verbally invite co-workers, neighbors, or gym friends and they later move out of your circle, you are in the awkward position of deciding whether to still invite them.
5. As you develop your plans, keep some things a surprise, even from your bridal party. A wedding has elements of great theater – you don’t want to know everything that is going to happen ahead of time. If you plan a carriage ride, fireworks, special entertainment, a touching moment, let all the guests be wowed by it, instead of expecting it.
6. And most of all, have fun with this very special time of your life. If you are finding yourself stressed, tired and wishing you had eloped, figure out why and do something about it. Cross some unimportant things off the list, hire someone to run errands for you, ask for help, or just back away from the planning for some non-wedding fun.
Photos: Gatsby gown by Matthew Christopher, cupcakes by The Baltimore Cupcake Company
1. Consider hiring a wedding consultant. A good wedding planner can help you avoid costly mistakes. They can help you establish priorities and make sure that you use your budget wisely and they can help you use your wedding planning time effectively by referring you only to vendors who will work within your style and budget. They will review all your contracts and point out omissions, discrepancies, and anything else that could lead to disappointment at your wedding. Many brides think that they don’t need a wedding planner since their venue or caterer supplies a coordinator, but there are two things to remember. First, a facility coordinator is not going to help you choose all your vendors – the florist, the photographer, etc. – nor will they help with the ceremony, arrangements for out-of-town guests, the rehearsal dinner, and all the other details of the wedding beyond the reception. And second, the coordinator works for the facility or the caterer, not you. A wedding planner works for you and will be making sure all your vendors perform well and give you everything you expect from them.
2. Come up with a realistic budget, set your priorities, and allocate money to those first. You might need a meeting of the families to decide what is most important to each person contributing to the wedding, and for everyone to commit to their part of the budget and be comfortable with it. Many conflicts that develop later between the families are money-related, so do everything you can to establish a comfort level and agreements at the beginning.
3. We think that brides should work on their guest list a lot earlier than most of them do. That means getting everyone – bride, groom, all parents – to jot down the names of the guests they want to invite. The number of guests at your wedding determines where you can have the ceremony and reception, and to a great extent, it determines your budget for the wedding. When people think about the cost of a guest, they immediately think of the caterer’s price for the reception meal, but here is a partial list of the other expenses per guest: invitations, programs, menu cards, calligraphy, postage, favors, bar expense, champagne toast, valet parking and other transportation, rentals of chair, napkins, china, flatware and glassware. For every 8-10 additional guests, rental of a table, table linens, centerpiece and pin lighting. Add 50 guests, and you need two more wait staff, one more bartender, and so on.
4. This goes along with #3 above – when you tell people you are engaged, don’t automatically start inviting them to the wedding. You may get a little into the planning process and see that you are going to have to get the guest list down. And if you verbally invite co-workers, neighbors, or gym friends and they later move out of your circle, you are in the awkward position of deciding whether to still invite them.
5. As you develop your plans, keep some things a surprise, even from your bridal party. A wedding has elements of great theater – you don’t want to know everything that is going to happen ahead of time. If you plan a carriage ride, fireworks, special entertainment, a touching moment, let all the guests be wowed by it, instead of expecting it.
6. And most of all, have fun with this very special time of your life. If you are finding yourself stressed, tired and wishing you had eloped, figure out why and do something about it. Cross some unimportant things off the list, hire someone to run errands for you, ask for help, or just back away from the planning for some non-wedding fun.
Photos: Gatsby gown by Matthew Christopher, cupcakes by The Baltimore Cupcake Company
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